Saturday, July 21, 2018

The Vanity of a Profile Snap

"Hi Kedar
Drop everything. Please come over to my desk immediately". 

My new boss pinged on Instant messenger. I could almost feel his sense of urgency myself. Just in the first week of my stint under him, I quickly collected my Laptop, Notepad, Pen and Mobile and rushed to his desk in another work location...Not knowing what ask will be needed from me. (Of course, there were corporate etiquette anecdotes that you always went with at least a Notepad to any meeting. There is even a Wally joke even that said that always move from one place to another in an office with something in your hand; else it looks like that you are taking a coffee break)

As soon as I reached his desk, I straight looked at the Laptop screen he was staring intensely at, wondering if it was an urgent proposal/pitch of sorts that we had to reply to. No such requirement! 

Funnily, there were 3 profile snaps of his open on the laptop screen: One straight-faced, one left-faced, one right-faced. "Which one does look better?" he asked, almost in panic. I was in dis-belief. "I need to send out one of these right away to an events organizer, for them to put it up on the list of speakers at the event as one of the panel members". I slipped deeper into dis-belief. He recognized my dilemma, but mis-read the reason. "My face looks too long if I send out the right-faced snap, while my left-faced snap does not look pleasant since the smile gets skewed", he sincerely went on to explain. "What do you think?" I vote for the straight-faced one, I said with (invisible) disinterest. "Why? You don't like my other snaps?", with visible annoyance that I chose so quickly whereas he seemed to grappling with the decision for a while. Oops. The consultant in me thought quickly - bench-marking and industry best practices! "Not that way. Look at all other panel member snaps, they are all straight-faced! Straight-faced is the norm for events, side-faced is the norm for papers and presentations". I made it up! And, he totally bought it!!

He verified quickly on the events page and was cheerful right away, with my 'accurate insights'. Phew! "Man, you really are good with the consulting industry landscape!". Kudos. 

Hurrah!?  

Wednesday, February 21, 2018

I Hope You Have Understood...

A colleague of mine walked back, looking completely bewildered, after a longish 'proposal conceptualization' meeting with boss. I asked him about what happened 'in there'. He quoted the boss: '"I am not able to clearly explain to you what my thoughts are, but I hope you have understood what I am trying to say. Put together a first draft and I will tell you what is missing."

Perfect story, to foretell what gets covered in this blog. :)  

He has Crossed the Sea - Tagore

I am kick-starting this 'stories' blog as a form of nostalgia about the lighter moments at work from my corporate & consulting experiences. I take help from Tagore's famous quote: When the touch of spring is in the air, I suddenly wake up from my nightmare of giving ‘messages’ and remember that I belong to the eternal band of good-for-nothings; I hasten to join in the vagabond chorus. But I hear the whisper around me: ‘this man has crossed the sea’, and my voice is choked.